Yuca
[post_intro] [/post_intro] If you think you can dance salsa but haven’t actually taken any formal classes, I dare you to make a trip to Yuca on a weekend night and make that claim to a sweaty girl in...
View ArticleMondrian South Beach
[post_intro] [/post_intro] South Beach hotels, along with brothels and used car dealerships, are places where you know with unequivocal certainty that there are some people being fucked at any given...
View ArticleSegafredo L’Originale
Short of drilling a hole through the wall at the boy’s locker room to gain viewing access to the girl’s locker room in any ’80s teen movie, Segafredo on Lincoln Road is the best way to score voyeur...
View ArticleArkadia
I had been to Arkadia for the first time early this year, but it wasn’t for very long and my state of mind was compromised (read: drunk.) When I went again this past weekend, the first thought that...
View ArticleJimmy’z Kitchen
Aside from their glaring deficiencies with the English language judging by their inability to grasp possessiveness rules, Jimmy’z Kitchen knows how to put down an acceptable meal. It’s kind of like...
View ArticleBuck 15
Buck 15 has such a ghetto-ass entrance I thought I needed to provide some kind of password to get in. Like the doorman would ask, “how much is a buck fifteen worth to the Loch Ness monster” and the...
View ArticlePoetryview: Kill Your Idol
Deep within the bowels of Sobe, down the street from Lincoln Road, Close enough to clubs and titties, hipsters hang in an abode. Not that it’s a house per se, more like just a place to play, If your...
View ArticleYardbird Southern Table & Bar
If Yardbird had a dick, Miami would be sucking it. I knew only three things coming into this place: People don’t shut the fuck up about how amazing this place is supposed to be, the head chef was the...
View ArticleFoxhole
If I could go back to the twenties and not be hanged or disenfranchised for being an outspoken minority with future technology, I would totally go grab a drink or two with some flat-chested hookers at...
View ArticleA La Folie Cafe
What is it about French people that made them so good with cuisine? Seriously, they’re the best on the planet. A Middle Easterner could look at a typical French dish and be like, “I want to put that in...
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